The LinkedIn SPAM constellation

(A case study in zero research)

You know the type.
They connect with you on LinkedIn, and before you can even decide if you like their profile picture, your inbox turns into a sales brochure.

“Hey Daniela, hope you’re doing great! Are you looking to outsource your marketing, web design, emotional well-being, or solar panel distribution?”

No hello. No context. Just a pitch fired faster than a Starlink batch launch.

And when you think that’s bad, wait for the “Are you hiring?” crowd.
The ones who have clearly not read a single word of your website, your posts, or even your headline.
They just click connect and send CV to everyone with a pulse and a logo.
It’s not networking, it’s professional spam with delusions of strategy.

Then there’s the “PR for $400 on a random blog” offer.
As if paying someone to publish a recycled article on a portal last updated during the Mesozoic era will suddenly make your company famous.

I get it, everyone is trying to sell, connect, survive. But here is a wild thought:
Maybe read what the person actually does first.
Maybe ask something human.
Maybe stop treating LinkedIn like a vending machine for leads.

Until then, my inbox remains a galactic landfill of cold pitches and unresearched job requests,
a place where good intentions go to die and sales strategies go to copy-paste heaven.